The MOST Random Story Ever
by Priestess Mayumi
Summary: Something me and my cousins came up with when we were bored...but it's funny! Real life meets Inuyasha meets Eragon meets Pirates of the Carribean! Yeah, we're crazy, but that's how we roll!


WARNING: Contents are absolutely random and have nothing to do with anything intelligent whatsoever. I claim no responsibility for effects caused by the reading of this...piece of wierdness. :-)

To preface this, this weekend while me and my two cousins who shall be known Jessica and Melissa (names have been changed for privacy purposes) had nothing to do, we decided to write a random story. So, I started and we just went around in a circle adding a phrase to it one at a time until it became the conglomerative mess you see here.

We do not own any of these characters except the real people (Jessica, Melissa, and Joanie) and the four men (Joe, Bill, George, and Sam). The "dark and stormy" night thing comes from a story Jessica and Melissa's father likes to tell us all the time, so it's kind of a family joke.

Jessica and Melissa are HUGE Kikyo/Inuyasha fans...hence some of the events in here. Melissa also, um, strongly dislikes Kagome and the "girly-girl" comment is her submission. Meanwhile, I am a Kikyo/Sesshomaru kind of girl and as you can see, I tried to get them together, but my cousins kinda vetoed that idea ;-) I love them though. We all hate Naraku and think he's girly looking (sorry Red August).

Joanie (whose name has also been changed for privacy purposes) is a friend of mine and the one thing that we've never agreed upon is Kikyo and Naraku. I LOVE Kikyo and HATE Naraku, and she's exactly the opposite. I don't know why, but for some reason she likes Naraku...hopefully that explains something. But, the person she LOVES above anyone else is Jack Sparrow (and who can blame her?) so I had that end up well.

Enjoy, and try not to drive yourselves crazy!

It was a dark and stormy night. Four men were sitting around a campfire. And one man turns to another and says "Joe, tell us a story."

So Joe said, "I like cheese a lot. And, judging by the size of these boots, Jessica's feet are really big." So Sesshomaru, totally fed up with the whole thing turned to Joe and asked, "What the heck do Jennifer's feet have to do with cheese?"

And Joe said, "I don't know, Melissa was just being mean to Jessica that one day." But then Sesshomaru put in, "Maybe Jessica was being mean to Melissa." Then Inuyasha said "Can it Sesshomaru. Maybe you're just being a snob to everyone else."

Joe turned to Inuyasha and said, "Inuyasha, you know, just leave. Take a hike." So Inuyasha went and took a hike. And Kagome rolled her eyes, and shouted out into the darkness, "Not literally you idiot!" But Inuyasha, being the imbecile he was, just kept walking and walking and so forth.

Then Kikyo arrived and told girly girl Kagome to let off Inuyasha. Then, suddenly, they heard a buzzing noise. A swarm of Naraku's bees swarmed out of the clouds above. They carried off everyone but Kikyo, Sesshomaru, and Inuyasha…basically the four men and Kagome.

Then Sesshomaru turned to Inuyasha and said, "Take another hike. You obviously are gone on that Kagome girl, and I want Kikyo cause she's HOTT." So Inuyasha spun around to face Sesshomaru and said, "No way! She's mine," Kikyo just rolled her eyes. Kikyo thought about it for a moment, and then decided to go with Inuyasha, so they left Sesshomaru alone. So Sesshomaru, standing there totally stunned said, "I want some chili." So Kikyo turned to him and said, "Okay, I'll give you some chili." So she conjured up some chili in the dark and threw it at his face, boiling hot. Then Kikyo and Inuyasha ran away to go rescue Joe.

Meanwhile, in a creepy underground lair in a building high above the city (yes, that says what you just thought you just read), Naraku was deciding whether to wear his ballet shoes or his stilettos when he took over the world. He decided to go with the stilettos, because he decided they would make him look manly. So he tried them on, but then he accidentally fell out the window. He ended up as a greasy splat on the pavement below, and Galbatorix rode by with his dragon and said, "That's too bad."

High above the clouds and Galbatorix, Saphira was talking to Eragon about the Varden. And she decided that the Varden were totally awesome, except they should overthrow Nasuada and make Eragon the leader. Then Eragon said, "That sounds great, but before we do that, let's get a Big Mac." So they went to go get a Big Mac, but when everyone saw them coming, they all ran away so they had the whole restaurant all to themselves. And then they ran into Kikyo and Inuyasha who were trying to save Joe…still. So, Inuyasha turns to Eragon and said, "Hey, punk. You seen a girly looking guy with bees anywhere?" "On the sidewalk, yeah. He was squished into a pile of grease."

So Inuyasha and Kikyo went and saw the grease and took the stilettos, which were still in pretty good shape, and cremated them and pretended to bury them as though they were Naraku. Then Joanie came along, and said "NO! We can still put him back together! I need Grade A duct tape and a whole lot of clothespins!" But Inuyasha just looked at her and said, "Why do we need clothespins?" Then Kikyo added, "Go and get a life, Joanie." So Joanie said, "To heck with all of you. Inuyasha, you're not that cute anyway. I found a real man: Captain Jack Sparrow!!!" Inuyasha just slapped his head and shook it. Then Captain Jack Sparrow arrived and took Joanie off on the Black Pearl…and they were never seen again…and they lived happily ever after.

So Inuyasha turns to Kikyo and says, "What in the name of Mike did that have to do with ANYTHING?" Kikyo just said, "To tell you the truth, I don't even know."

Then they went into Naraku's castle, and found Joe, and took him off with them. Kagome shouted to them as they were leaving, "What about ME Inuyasha? We're meant for each other!" "In your dreams!" he shouted back. "Kikyo's mine!" Kikyo turned around and added, "I knew Inuyasha first." Then Norrington showed up and said, "I'll rescue you, fair maiden…got any money first???" Kagome said, "I have a dollar!" Norrington decided he didn't want to work for that money, so he ditched her.

So the other three men, Bill, Sam, and George, told Kagome, "Why don't you use that big mouth for something useful for a change and get us out of here?" So Kagome said, "Fine." So she shouted really loud, "HELP!" and someone all the way in China heard her. So then a Chinese warrior with a Chinese dragon came and saved them. But then, there was a flash flood and they all fell off into the Arctic Ocean.

So Davy Jones went and got them. And then another ship arrived, and this time Will Turner was driving it because, he too was now like Davy Jones. So Davy Jones turned to Bill, Sam, George, and Kagome and said, "If you stay here, you get 100 years of free alcoholic beverages, but if you go over there, you have to join Will Turner's choir and they sound terrible." So Bill, Sam, and George got down on their knees and begged, "Okay! Let us stay here! We'll take the alcoholic beverages any day", but Kagome said, "I'm going over there with Will Turner because he's HOTT!"

So, at the end of the day, it was a dark and stormy night. Four people (Kikyo, Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, and Joe) were sitting around a campfire, and Sesshomaru turned to his left and said, "Joe, tell us a story." So Joe said, "I like cheese…" The End! :-)


End file.
